First of all, don’t panic! If your child has recently come out to you, or if you think they might, you’re in good company. This can feel like a huge change for your family– fortunately, support, community, and resources are more widely available than ever before.

Your child being comfortable enough to come out to you as having a different gender experience is a sign of trust in the relationship–this is a good sign that your kid feels safe being themselves around you, and that you’ve done a good job fostering a culture of communication between you.

A trans kid does not mean that anyone did anything wrong. Trans people have existed all throughout human history–this was not caused by letting your kid play with Barbies or Hot Wheels, one parent being more involved/ absent than the other, or by your child being allowed on social media. Sometimes, nature creates beautiful variations, and this is cause for celebration.

Stand With Trans’ “Ally Parent” program is a fantastic resource for trans folks and their parents who are looking for support from other parents of trans kids. Regardless of where you are on this journey, you are not alone.

“Call Him Hunter” is a blog from Stand With Trans’ founder, Roz, about her experiences as the parent of a trans child (and how Ally Moms and SWT came to be). This is a great read, with posts that capture the realness of one family’s journey over the course of several years.

Resources:

Stand With Trans–My Child Is Transgender…Now What?!

Stand With Trans–Ally Parent Program

Stand With Trans–Call Him Hunter

Stand With Trans–What To Do When Your Child Says “I’m Transgender”

VerywellMind–How To Emotionally Process Your Child Coming Out As Trans

Family Equality–How Parents Can Care For Themselves During Challenging Times

Fenway Health–Tips for Parents and Guardians of Transgender Youth

TransFamily Alliance–Five Keys to Navigating
When Your Kid Comes Out As Trans or Non-Binary

Gender Spectrum–Navigating Your Feelings

                                TransFamily Alliance–How to Take Care of Yourself as the Parent of a Trans Kid

                                Gender Spectrum–Understanding Gender

                                Gender Spectrum–Some Common Myths About Gender

                                Gender Spectrum–Changing Bodies to Match Gender Identity

                                Gender Spectrum–Your Gender Journey

                                Gender Spectrum–Gender Mapping

                                PFLAG-Our Trans Loved Ones (English) (Spanish) 

                                Parent Map–My Child Came Out as Trans — Now What?

                                Interact Advocates–Intersex 101

                                Interact Advocates–What We Wish Our Parents Knew

                                HRC–Myths and Facts: Battling Disinformation About Transgender Rights

                                Psychology Today–10 Things Parents of Trans Kids Want to Know

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